Lying on the bed, I started thinking about me and my world. I am quite happy with my life but somewhere something is missing. What is it? Many people came across and given a lot from their lives to me. I too found them as an integral part of my life. If one by one I think about the care and love I have been looking for, is still in my desires. Though the time has almost gone, so expectations from the friends are also getting minimized day by day which giving satisfaction to my unconvinced relationships. Sometime I had put everything in relationship but dint get the same in lieu of it or might be my desires always asked for more and more. Sometime others had put almost everything for being in relationship with me but I never got that sense which had forced me to accept that even for a moment. Whatever may be the case of they are quite near to me, they given their honest or dishonest thoughts about me as known one which are always quite pleasing. I have been quite reserved in whole of my life and found myself with under developed senses till now. I spent my childhood with my cousin, always felt his pain in as mine but lost him when he stabbed me from far behind and treat him the most fictitious person of my life. He tore my heart in countless parts. I was breathless when he ditched me and now he became the person whom I hate utmost. In my initial years of schooling, one of my friend fought with few of the students who beaten me. I admired this friend of mine and after few years able to do the same for him when I fought with few others. This incident filled me with confidence. But suddenly in race of money he lost somewhere from my sight too. I still remember the day when I knocked the door of girl’s house to convey one of my best friends’ message to his beloved one. I tried my best for him all the time but when I saw him torturing his father, I lost faith on him. One of my friends was under debt for the sake of showing his status to his relatives. During my university days too, I was ditched by a person who was very close to me that he done on terms of one time meal. During my job again on whom I trusted opened my life like a notice board. In whole of this journey, I always tried to be serious in every moment of my life but also enjoyed my own follies with my rare friends. I have not been best in any front of my life but never been so bad too. This thoughtful discussion with myself come out with the answer of my slight dissatisfaction from the life. TRUST, yes this is ‘trust’ which I am still searching for and whom I can blindly trust on.I am quite happy with the things happening around; all setbacks had given lot of confidence and strength to face the worst. I am happy with the life but not yet satisfied. I am still searching the way to feed my hunger of satisfaction through personal and professional ways. My satisfaction is not related to material by it is for emotional bonding with someone, to whom I can make understand and who fulfill my emotional needs with spark of light before utterance of my verbal expression.
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