Sunday, February 22, 2009

From my very Personal Diary - II

My Treads - II
(From my very Personal Diary)

31st May, 1999

I was happy when heard that I have been selected for the post. I was at ninth cloud and was feeling as I have won the biggest battle of my life. I rushed to my home and informed my family about the selection. They were also happy and got little relaxed from my side now. Being an introvert person I always tried to hide my emotions even could not shown up and shared my excitement of this news with my friends. I did not know how whole day gone and evening came. I gone to my bed for sleep, I switched off the light and tried to sleep. Just then, I recalled my days when I was measuring all nearby roads for hunting a job. Everyday going pillar to post in search of job by feet made me suffered with leg pains, the shoes were spoiled and before going to any interview I used to send them to a ‘mochi’ (cobbler) for repairing. I remembered the day when unwillingly I took up a job of electrician, where once got humiliated by the owner and one manager of a client company. I remembered the time when I used to walk 10 Kms (20 Kms. to and fro) everyday to reach my work place for 7 months and traveled once in an every week in local bus. My introvert nature and unkind behaviour of owner put me in tears few times. I remembered the days when I worked in an industry where I walked away from the office during lunch times by lie to my colleagues that I am going to take my lunch outside, since skipped my lunches to purchase something for my family members. All these work places had given me a different style of observation. The faces of all the people who humiliated and dishonored me started moving infront of my eyes. I felt they all were shouting on me the way they used to. Just then, my mother called me for tea and broken my rhythm of thoughts. I found, that my eyes were burning, body was sweating and feelings were annoyed. I realized those faces who shouted on me, humiliated me but thanked them for provoking me to do something to shut their mouths. I am determinant that one day I will shut their mouth off and would make them realize that they have done blunder in their lives.


God, give me strength and sense to understand diplomatic ‘love’ and ‘hate’ emotions of others towards me, which I found most difficult feelings to understand at this point of time all around.

Past has shown the way to future
one day I’ll be there, where I desire
destructive fire in which I’m going through
melting me but burning my ashes to the crude
people who killed me, might be true
they provoked me and my aspires
one day I’ll be there, where I desire


Today after a decade, I would like to place my sincere thanks and gratitude to My Dear God who blessed me with lots of friends who I always desired which are pure and divine.
 
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