Friday, December 30, 2011

Adieu to 2011 and welcome to 2012


Time to bid adieu to the year 2011 has approached. The resolution taken for this year has seriously being addressed and a sense of positivity vivid up. As decided in the beginning of 2011 I am able to shorten the list of enemies and begged sorry from all my friends who got hurt with my known or unknown deeds. Professionally, socially and personally achieved a lot and sadly lost few good souls who were my strength. Not much to say, just taking a note of, what I achieved and lost in the year 2011.

Professionally 2011 - this year I restricted myself in applying anywhere, firstly, thought of constructing my professional domain in more valid manner. Started reading and interacting with other fellow professionals. Thought of compiling many ideas in the form of paper and vaguely tried for it.
Resolution for 2012: More practical exposure needs to get and surely going to experiment on something new and interesting. ‘ll take help from all my mentors towards streamlining my professional learning.

Family in 2011 - Things got easier and smooth at family front. I started taking or sharing burden of various plans and able to execute them well, that given contentment to parents as well as other members of the family. I regain the intactness which was loosening up earlier. Overall, it was one amongst the happiest years for the family with respect to growth and peace.  
Resolution for 2012: Nothing much changes from the last year resolutions, hopefully give more and more happiness to all members of my family and to everyone associated with it.

Personally or socially 2011 - I apologies to all near and dear ones who was knowingly or unknowingly got hurt by me. This year I had not hurt anybody directly and tried my best not to do it indirectly even. Many new people come across and stuck as good friends of mine. Few people mentoring me towards the goal of life and had always been kind to me, departed in other worlds and created a vacuum which never be filled-up.
Resolution for 2012: ‘ll surely going to be a good human being and also accomplish all my responsibilities in much better way.

Academically 2011 - In this year I remained slightly serious towards my research work. With active support from the Guide and few very close friends. With help all of them, I am on verge of giving a good shape to research project.   
                Resolution for 2012: May able to wind up my research.

I am also taking this opportunity to wish you all and me, may this new year brings lot of happiness, joy and success at everyone's  life. Welcome 2012.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

An emotional revenge


Plotting all the characters appear in this drama is completely fictitious which are also not keeping relation with any dead or alive. Resemblance with any of these characters would merely be a coincidence and could be regrettable. 

Baburam – The Fool (The Trapped Man)
Gugni – Wife of Mohi but loves Sunni  
Sunni – Group member (Married, Teacher and whom Gugni loves)
Gauti – Group member (Working on Pornographic media)
Rahul – Group member (Students of Sunni and friends of all)
Siddh – Group member (Doctor and good writer)
Mohi – Gugni’s husband

Scene I (Part I)
Sunni is a married, a senior pro, known as leader of a group and all group members admire him. He is open-minded and shares all practical experiences of his life with his group consisting Gauti, Rahul, Siddh and Gugni. Gugni is the only female member of this bunch of ambitious and lustious people who now and then hunt for partners to have fun. They share all their bodily intimate voyages and jokes with each other. Gugni, been into few relationships earlier but never experience anything like other group members had, though she is highly impressed with Sunni and expressed her love to him many times. Since, Sunni was already married but look after her professional and personal lives. However, they started living in emotional and physical bondings. Whole group meets every evening over phone or Internet and usually discuss or share all day-today’s experiences with each other. Gauti, Rahul and Siddh are always in hunt of female partners, hunting and abandoning them has been the routine flow of their lives which they share with Sunni and Gugni too. Seeking suggestions and help from each other in trapping people have been the main areas of their discussions. Gugni, always found of these talks but share her sexual fantasies with Sunni who provoked her to satisfy her sexual appetite as the way she has been desiring for, he advised her to do desired things and this is the only mantra of happiness. Gugni wants to spend her maximum time with him and they planned many times. Their plans never got executed due to one or other reason but fondling each others took them in different worlds. Gugni decides not to marry by which she gets enough time and space to be together. She informs him about her decision and her desire to see him as her mate for whole life. He mutually agreed to be a lifetime mate to her but asks her to keep whole things secret. He suggests her, if she gets marry then being with each other would be quite easier and no social stigma will trigger up. On his words she agrees for marriage and that is also just to show-off to the people around her. But putting herself in social bond with other person would difficult to her. They, together, start looking for a right person for her. 

Gauti is working on pornographic project and always keep Gugni involves in his discussions. Gugni also gives special suggestion to him and assured him to extend her all help in accomplishing his project. Her broad thoughts on pornography attracted him towards her. He come to know about her hunger and asked bluntly for making love. She happily agreed but asked him to have few meetings before desired fun.

Scene II
Far away from their world, Baburam was a happy person and living without troubling much of his life, although his family life had been ruined. So he is focused towards his profession at most. He remains so uncomfortable in the company of girls. He come in contact with them but never thought of exploiting them. When he saw Gugni’s picture, he finds her a shrewd whore, even though, unwillingly he started interacting with her on professional and personal issues. But he never realizes that his move would be the worst, destiny going to unfold for him in the near future.

Scene II (Part I)
Gugni found Baburam good to play with, for satisfying her suppressed desires. With help of Sunni she fabricates a net for catching him and finally succeeded. On every evening, while meeting other members of her group, she shares everything about this new adventure. Apart from Sunni, others also start having fun with her.

Scene III (Part I)
In office and home people found Baburam all the time talking with Gugni over phone. He become slave of Gugni and remains busy in fulfilling her desires. She assured herself not to waste much amount on her baseless relationship with Baburam. Like a fool, he hogs all charges occurring in this relationship and putting more than half of his salary on talks and journeys. Gugni cleverly assured him for true love and togetherness for whole life. They constructs a Virtual Home and visits everyday to share their emotions. Baburam is happy with her love.

Scene III (Part II)
Gugni, while sharing Baburam’s talks with other group members, laughs and smirks in proud. She is getting experienced the way she had desired. Gauti, Rahul and Siddh desperately want to enjoy Gugni and in isolation one by one inform their sexual interest towards her. She smiles on hearing this but in presence of Sunni she subsides her happiness and asks them to wait for sometime and handle them in individually without letting whole group know. Although, all group members are happy to know Gugni's attraction towards them and she is enjoying whatever opportunity coming on her way. She proudly and nastily mocks on Baburam and his foolishness.

Scene III (Part III)
Gugni pompous on the adventure through which, she uses Baburam as a mean for fulfilling her lustious desires. Suddenly Baburam gets caught in emotional net of illusive and abusive love and his conscious mind senses crooky affair in which he got trapped. He asks her to be away from whole group which he feels poking her into all nasty things. She assured him for honesty and asked him for have faith on her. She defined her emotions as pure as God on that he agrees and refines his thoughts. But finally, all of sudden he finds her emails which she had sent to some people sharing her love, emotions and sexual appetites. Baburam gets angry and scolds on her. She once again controls the situation by giving some lame excuses and again blind love of Baburam not let him realize the reality. The frequencies of her making him fool increases and he also starts scolding her whenever things happening. He wants Gugni to remain with him all the time whereas Gugni wants time for Sunni and others apart from wasting much on him. Now, Gugni starts feeling irritated and bored in his company and as usual starts looking for new faces to get ride of him.

Scene III (Part IV)
Sitting with the group Gugni asks all members to help her in getting rid of Baburam. They suggested her to do all the stuffs which irritate him, ‘if you will continue to make him irritated now and then, soon he will leave you before you leave him’. Gugni grins and plans more suffering for him.

Scene IV (Part I)
Gugni is busy in making Baburam angry by doing all the things which he does not like. He scolds her and pleads not to put him tears again and again. But sticking on a firm plan through which Gugni plotted to get rid of him. 

Scene IV (Part II)
Suddenly, marriage of Gugni gets arranged. She was happier because now she is going to get rid off many of her troubles including Baburam. Without wasting any time Sunni asks her get married soon. She is happy but some where in the corner of her heart, she is sad because now she has to go away from the Sunni. Sunni consoled her by saying that marriage is the only option which would brought some stability to their relationship in this society. No eye will frown whenever they meet in future and it is the easiest way to be with each other for whole of their lives, otherwise society will not let them live like they have been desiring for. Gugni realizes and smiles on getting the solution for her love. Gugni forgets about the 'virtual home' and never come to share her emotions and love for Baburam even on his various requests. She destroyes his 'virtual home' and set the example of his place in her life. She ruins his heart, mind and most importantly his soul. She become angry whenever he calls her, she tells all lie and fake reasons to keep him away from her. She starts using different secondary phone number for him. She does not visualize the pain in which he is suffering upon. Finally, Baburam realizes her as most selfish and opportunist person, who can go at any extent to have own happiness.  
Scene IV (Part II)
Next day, Baburam receives a call from Gugni that now things between them are over, she will not able to get time for him now onwards as she has to give time for her would be hubby. Hearing this tears start flowing from his eyes, in anger he cries loudly and requests her not to leave him like this and be with him till her marriage gets solemnized. He requests her to respect his love and take the easiest way to leave him. She smirks to put salt on his wounds and advices ‘I found my soul-mate keep trying you will also get’. He pleads, ‘please leave me through a way which do not disregard our relationship, go away with a decorum which our relation demands, do some respect on my feelings and leave me the way I should feel proud on our relationship, please don’t get detached with a thud and treat me as human being not as a stone, alteast our relationship needs some respect”. None of his words force her to look back. In anger he shouts ‘leaving me like this would not be a pleasant thing for you too, as you have terrified me alone with this chaos, one day you need to feel the same’. She replies, ‘it means you would blackmail me’. Her blackmail word throws him in fury, he never expected her to come out with such a bad mouth. ‘Yes I will, I will take revenge on your fraud with me’ he ended his talk. She looks towards him in red eyes and in fury moved ahead. She leaves him in tears and changes her contact numbers on the very day.

Scene V (Part I)
Gugni is now living with her husband, Mohi who is a matured person with little arrogance. Gugni is putting all her experience which she got from other men, into keeping him happy. She even forgets the name of Baburam. Gugni introduces Sunni to Mohi as her guide and mentor and now he is their family friend.

Scene V (Part II)
All group members, in the evening indulge in discussions on their new hunts. Gugni is feeling timid but listening to their discussion without uttering much. She is peeping into the eyes of Sunni and sharing talks with him without letting whole world know.

Scene V (Part III)
Baburam still not realizes from what he had been through. He is known by all his friends and relatives as a nut. He still looking for few answers of Gugni’s betray over him. He is angry on her and on himself too. His days are moving without any joy, laugh and happiness. Now, he become more introvert and serious than earlier. He comes to top windows of his house and constantly stares towards the sky for hours and hours, he takes away his sight when his eyes filled with tears and anger. Sitting on floor for few hours, thinking on something for long, he laughs endlessly and all of sudden he starts crying, louder and louder. He picks a metallic pot, given by Gugni and start hitting his head furiously; he stops when found himself in a pool of his own blood. He tries to see his face in reflection given by the blood under sunlight coming from the window; he founds his face smudge with blood all over. He stands up, goes to the mirror; looks his red eyes. He feels that his eyes are inquiring for some reprisal from him. In anger he presses his jaws, wash his face and starts smiling. He thinks that dirty blood from his body has flown out, through this bad blood all her memories and germs of her slavery have gone away. Now, he needs to reset his disturbed family life on needed track and he determinants to re-pay Gugni the suffering he got from her. He needs to have revenge from the person who killed his true emotions and fooled him all around.

A few years later - one day...........
Sunni called Gugni and horrifically informed her. Tears start coming from her eyes and her legs fumble as unable to hold weight of her body, she is unable to speak any word and dumps herself on a sofa placed nearby. Her two kids (twins) are running here and there in all over the house. Her husband is already left for his job. She thinks to contact Baburam but his contact numbers are not with her, even she does not know where he is these days. Evening comes she visits the market and senses that many of the young people are staring towards her and throwing lewd remarks on her. She realizes that Baburam done the trick which she never thought of and now time of havoc has been started.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Lets Fight

I find you fraudulent when I saw first
I got trapped on terms of my lust
Din’t get you the worst
You fabricated a flirtious crust
Tamed my sight with open eyes
Nothing to hide now, even got
Insulted, offended, hurt, screwed
And crumbled my all trusts from you shrewd

Cried a lot with down headed
You heard all but enjoyed at your end
I broke down while accepted your shed
Never found you sad on my robbed fate
Once again you fabricated all your dreams
Undoubtedly you skilled in finding mate
Everything can be forgettable but
You are the worst enemy which I create

One over two always my style of live
You given one I returned you twice
Love or hate only you set upon
Life is life but I lost my pride
Vanished all when you thrown me in muck
Hesitant to know what’s wrong or right
Why do I follow, when you lost protocols of amity
You passed time by playing with my dignity
Your term is over that kept me in unrest
Now you are there for me as no entity
Lets fight to get peace in this calamity

I need to take revenge on all your lies
I need to take revenge on your fake cries
I need to take revenge on your being unfair
I need to take revenge on my lost pride,
And now you need to look for your survival
Lets fight to sleep calmly in the night

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Tale of an old year : with resolution for the New Year!!!

Previous year has gone and become a history but this was one of the most eventual and critical at all spheres of my life. From my personal life to professional life all had taken a swift turn to put life slightly on the track. In verge of abusive relationship, I had sunk everything which I had been possessing, upon that most hazardously, I had lost my friends. I was in illusion of everything but past year had brought me into the realm of reality. In this post I am wishing to record my last year which has been changed my thinking, perspective and put me on the way of more maturity.

My professional life also suffered a lot, somewhere, now I am feeling that my efforts were not up to the mark. I have appeared in two interviews but did not get selected in any. These failures worked as eye opener for me and I had started preparing for upcoming interviews in more organized manner. Hopefully, in the new year, over the realization of disastrous last year, I may produce good results which I have been aspiring for
At social fronts, not been so social jinx continued with me in the past year too, but with more rigid manner. I am having tendency of being quite strait forward which people might not accept since I am nothing for them. This led to distraction as well as dissection and at end of the day list of enemies increased more. In this new year I shall cut shorten list of my enemies, therefore I’ll not make more enemies and would soon be patch up with all my buddies.

Only I had called destruction in my family life by keeping myself away from them. They all are innocent and seeing me as a good human being whereas I thrown them away for one or other reasons. I am their culprit, by being with them I could have been given more happiness to my family. Since, I am a family man so now considering myself more intact with all of them and wish for their happiness rather than mine.

As for my personal growth is concerned, past year had given me lots of opportunities to become or act as a matured person. I learnt a lot, viz. now I can control my anger in little better way, during irritation I can be more sensible then earlier days, I had learnt how to behave calmly in odd situations. Now, I realized that people can destroy you completely for their gains and happiness, inspite of their hypocrisies, I have to what I am. I am little more real which I had not been during last couple of years.

I have entered into the new year with a lot of positivity and doing integrative efforts to make my dreams true. In this new year, I’ll try to put everything back on track, professionally, personally, academically and socially as well. But my sincere new year resolution would be, not to make any enemy, will surely be cordial to everyone who comes across.

I wish all of you a very happy and prosperous New Year ahead!!!
 
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