The Secret – the magic

Dear Kruti and Jaya,

Thank you for sharing such an interesting piece of contents, which certainly is going to help in throughout of my life. While assessing on the basis of this book and movie based upon it, I found positive and negative (mixture) personality inside me. Although my personality is more inclined towards negative feeling but ensure now onwards to keep myself positive all the time during all circumstances as narrated in these magical content enveloped in 'The secret'. I am still feeling the essence comes out of many of its words. ‘Thoughts become things!’ may be the most useful shortcut of being positive for an introvert person like me. Another phrase ‘Your wish is my command’ creates magic all around. It showed me that a hidden aura works according to our thoughts and actions which magically brought to us whatever we are desiring or commanding for.

This is a phenomenal piece of guidance, efforts, teaching and experience that can be shared with each and everyone to make our world a lovely place to live. The Secret bring out positive power which lives within us.  Undoubtedly, the ‘Secret’ is the key to live happily and spread peace all across.

Thanks once again for supporting my life with so called magic – ‘the secret’.

With best wishes and regards,

Suresh K Chauhan

Adieu to 2011 and welcome to 2012

Time to bid adieu to the year 2011 has approached. The resolution taken for this year has seriously being addressed and a sense of positivity vivid up. As decided in the beginning of 2011 I am able to shorten the list of enemies and begged sorry from all my friends who got hurt with my known or unknown deeds. Professionally, socially and personally achieved a lot and sadly lost few good souls who were my strength. Not much to say, just taking a note of, what I achieved and lost in the year 2011.

Professionally 2011 - this year I restricted myself in applying anywhere, firstly, thought of constructing my professional domain in more valid manner. Started reading and interacting with other fellow professionals. Thought of compiling many ideas in the form of paper and vaguely tried for it.

Resolution for 2012: More practical exposure needs to get and surely going to experiment on something new and interesting. ‘ll take help from all my mentors towards streamlining my professional learning.

Family in 2011 - Things got easier and smooth at family front. I started taking or sharing burden of various plans and able to execute them well, that given contentment to parents as well as other members of the family. I regain the intactness which was loosening up earlier. Overall, it was one amongst the happiest years for the family with respect to growth and peace.  

Resolution for 2012: Nothing much changes from the last year resolutions, hopefully give more and more happiness to all members of my family and to everyone associated with it.

Personally or socially 2011 - I apologies to all near and dear ones who was knowingly or unknowingly got hurt by me. This year I had not hurt anybody directly and tried my best not to do it indirectly even. Many new people come across and stuck as good friends of mine. Few people mentoring me towards the goal of life and had always been kind to me, departed in other worlds and created a vacuum which never be filled-up.

Resolution for 2012: ‘ll surely going to be a good human being and also accomplish all my responsibilities in much better way.

Academically 2011 - In this year I remained slightly serious towards my research work. With active support from the Guide and few very close friends. With help all of them, I am on verge of giving a good shape to research project.   

                Resolution for 2012: May able to wind up my research.

I am also taking this opportunity to wish you all and me, may this new year brings lot of happiness, joy and success at everyone's  life. Welcome 2012.

An emotional revenge

Plotting all the characters appear in this drama is completely fictitious which are also not keeping relation with any dead or alive. Resemblance with any of these characters would merely be a coincidence and could be regrettable. 

Baburam – The Fool (The Trapped Man)

Gugni – Wife of Mohi but loves Sunni  

Sunni – Group member (Married, Teacher and whom Gugni loves)

Gauti – Group member (Working on Pornographic media)

Rahul – Group member (Students of Sunni and friends of all)

Siddh – Group member (Doctor and good writer)

Mohi – Gugni’s husband

Scene I (Part I)

Sunni is a married, a senior pro, known as leader of a group and all group members admire him. He is open-minded and shares all practical experiences of his life with his group consisting Gauti, Rahul, Siddh and Gugni. Gugni is the only female member of this bunch of ambitious and lustious people who now and then hunt for partners to have fun. They share all their bodily intimate voyages and jokes with each other. Gugni, been into few relationships earlier but never experience anything like other group members had, though she is highly impressed with Sunni and expressed her love to him many times. Since, Sunni was already married but look after her professional and personal lives. However, they started living in emotional and physical bondings. Whole group meets every evening over phone or Internet and usually discuss or share all day-today’s experiences with each other. Gauti, Rahul and Siddh are always in hunt of female partners, hunting and abandoning them has been the routine flow of their lives which they share with Sunni and Gugni too. Seeking suggestions and help from each other in trapping people have been the main areas of their discussions. Gugni, always found of these talks but share her sexual fantasies with Sunni who provoked her to satisfy her sexual appetite as the way she has been desiring for, he advised her to do desired things and this is the only mantra of happiness. Gugni wants to spend her maximum time with him and they planned many times. Their plans never got executed due to one or other reason but fondling each others took them in different worlds. Gugni decides not to marry by which she gets enough time and space to be together. She informs him about her decision and her desire to see him as her mate for whole life. He mutually agreed to be a lifetime mate to her but asks her to keep whole things secret. He suggests her, if she gets marry then being with each other would be quite easier and no social stigma will trigger up. On his words she agrees for marriage and that is also just to show-off to the people around her. But putting herself in social bond with other person would difficult to her. They, together, start looking for a right person for her. 

Gauti is working on pornographic project and always keep Gugni involves in his discussions. Gugni also gives special suggestion to him and assured him to extend her all help in accomplishing his project. Her broad thoughts on pornography attracted him towards her. He come to know about her hunger and asked bluntly for making love. She happily agreed but asked him to have few meetings before desired fun.

Scene II

Far away from their world, Baburam was a happy person and living without troubling much of his life, although his family life had been ruined. So he is focused towards his profession at most. He remains so uncomfortable in the company of girls. He come in contact with them but never thought of exploiting them. When he saw Gugni’s picture, he finds her a shrewd whore, even though, unwillingly he started interacting with her on professional and personal issues. But he never realizes that his move would be the worst, destiny going to unfold for him in the near future.

Scene II (Part I)

Gugni found Baburam good to play with, for satisfying her suppressed desires. With help of Sunni she fabricates a net for catching him and finally succeeded. On every evening, while meeting other members of her group, she shares everything about this new adventure. Apart from Sunni, others also start having fun with her.

Scene III (Part I)

In office and home people found Baburam all the time talking with Gugni over phone. He become slave of Gugni and remains busy in fulfilling her desires. She assured herself not to waste much amount on her baseless relationship with Baburam. Like a fool, he hogs all charges occurring in this relationship and putting more than half of his salary on talks and journeys. Gugni cleverly assured him for true love and togetherness for whole life. They constructs a Virtual Home and visits everyday to share their emotions. Baburam is happy with her love.

Scene III (Part II)

Gugni, while sharing Baburam’s talks with other group members, laughs and smirks in proud. She is getting experienced the way she had desired. Gauti, Rahul and Siddh desperately want to enjoy Gugni and in isolation one by one inform their sexual interest towards her. She smiles on hearing this but in presence of Sunni she subsides her happiness and asks them to wait for sometime and handle them in individually without letting whole group know. Although, all group members are happy to know Gugni's attraction towards them and she is enjoying whatever opportunity coming on her way. She proudly and nastily mocks on Baburam and his foolishness.

Scene III (Part III)

Gugni pompous on the adventure through which, she uses Baburam as a mean for fulfilling her lustious desires. Suddenly Baburam gets caught in emotional net of illusive and abusive love and his conscious mind senses crooky affair in which he got trapped. He asks her to be away from whole group which he feels poking her into all nasty things. She assured him for honesty and asked him for have faith on her. She defined her emotions as pure as God on that he agrees and refines his thoughts. But finally, all of sudden he finds her emails which she had sent to some people sharing her love, emotions and sexual appetites. Baburam gets angry and scolds on her. She once again controls the situation by giving some lame excuses and again blind love of Baburam not let him realize the reality. The frequencies of her making him fool increases and he also starts scolding her whenever things happening. He wants Gugni to remain with him all the time whereas Gugni wants time for Sunni and others apart from wasting much on him. Now, Gugni starts feeling irritated and bored in his company and as usual starts looking for new faces to get ride of him.

Scene III (Part IV)
Sitting with the group Gugni asks all members to help her in getting rid of Baburam. They suggested her to do all the stuffs which irritate him, ‘if you will continue to make him irritated now and then, soon he will leave you before you leave him’. Gugni grins and plans more suffering for him.

Scene IV (Part I)

Gugni is busy in making Baburam angry by doing all the things which he does not like. He scolds her and pleads not to put him tears again and again. But sticking on a firm plan through which Gugni plotted to get rid of him. 

Scene IV (Part II)

Suddenly, marriage of Gugni gets arranged. She was happier because now she is going to get rid off many of her troubles including Baburam. Without wasting any time Sunni asks her get married soon. She is happy but some where in the corner of her heart, she is sad because now she has to go away from the Sunni. Sunni consoled her by saying that marriage is the only option which would brought some stability to their relationship in this society. No eye will frown whenever they meet in future and it is the easiest way to be with each other for whole of their lives, otherwise society will not let them live like they have been desiring for. Gugni realizes and smiles on getting the solution for her love. Gugni forgets about the 'virtual home' and never come to share her emotions and love for Baburam even on his various requests. She destroyes his 'virtual home' and set the example of his place in her life. She ruins his heart, mind and most importantly his soul. She become angry whenever he calls her, she tells all lie and fake reasons to keep him away from her. She starts using different secondary phone number for him. She does not visualize the pain in which he is suffering upon. Finally, Baburam realizes her as most selfish and opportunist person, who can go at any extent to have own happiness.  

Scene IV (Part II)

Next day, Baburam receives a call from Gugni that now things between them are over, she will not able to get time for him now onwards as she has to give time for her would be hubby. Hearing this tears start flowing from his eyes, in anger he cries loudly and requests her not to leave him like this and be with him till her marriage gets solemnized. He requests her to respect his love and take the easiest way to leave him. She smirks to put salt on his wounds and advices ‘I found my soul-mate keep trying you will also get’. He pleads, ‘please leave me through a way which do not disregard our relationship, go away with a decorum which our relation demands, do some respect on my feelings and leave me the way I should feel proud on our relationship, please don’t get detached with a thud and treat me as human being not as a stone, alteast our relationship needs some respect”. None of his words force her to look back. In anger he shouts ‘leaving me like this would not be a pleasant thing for you too, as you have terrified me alone with this chaos, one day you need to feel the same’. She replies, ‘it means you would blackmail me’. Her blackmail word throws him in fury, he never expected her to come out with such a bad mouth. ‘Yes I will, I will take revenge on your fraud with me’ he ended his talk. She looks towards him in red eyes and in fury moved ahead. She leaves him in tears and changes her contact numbers on the very day.

Scene V (Part I)

Gugni is now living with her husband, Mohi who is a matured person with little arrogance. Gugni is putting all her experience which she got from other men, into keeping him happy. She even forgets the name of Baburam. Gugni introduces Sunni to Mohi as her guide and mentor and now he is their family friend.

Scene V (Part II)

All group members, in the evening indulge in discussions on their new hunts. Gugni is feeling timid but listening to their discussion without uttering much. She is peeping into the eyes of Sunni and sharing talks with him without letting whole world know.

Scene V (Part III)

Baburam still not realizes from what he had been through. He is known by all his friends and relatives as a nut. He still looking for few answers of Gugni’s betray over him. He is angry on her and on himself too. His days are moving without any joy, laugh and happiness. Now, he become more introvert and serious than earlier. He comes to top windows of his house and constantly stares towards the sky for hours and hours, he takes away his sight when his eyes filled with tears and anger. Sitting on floor for few hours, thinking on something for long, he laughs endlessly and all of sudden he starts crying, louder and louder. He picks a metallic pot, given by Gugni and start hitting his head furiously; he stops when found himself in a pool of his own blood. He tries to see his face in reflection given by the blood under sunlight coming from the window; he founds his face smudge with blood all over. He stands up, goes to the mirror; looks his red eyes. He feels that his eyes are inquiring for some reprisal from him. In anger he presses his jaws, wash his face and starts smiling. He thinks that dirty blood from his body has flown out, through this bad blood all her memories and germs of her slavery have gone away. Now, he needs to reset his disturbed family life on needed track and he determinants to re-pay Gugni the suffering he got from her. He needs to have revenge from the person who killed his true emotions and fooled him all around.

A few years later - one day...........

Sunni called Gugni and horrifically informed her. Tears start coming from her eyes and her legs fumble as unable to hold weight of her body, she is unable to speak any word and dumps herself on a sofa placed nearby. Her two kids (twins) are running here and there in all over the house. Her husband is already left for his job. She thinks to contact Baburam but his contact numbers are not with her, even she does not know where he is these days. Evening comes she visits the market and senses that many of the young people are staring towards her and throwing lewd remarks on her. She realizes that Baburam done the trick which she never thought of and now time of havoc has been started.

Lets Fight

I find you fraudulent when I saw first

I got trapped on terms of my lust

Din’t get you the worst

You fabricated a flirtious crust

Tamed my sight with open eyes

Nothing to hide now, even got

Insulted, offended, hurt, screwed

And crumbled my all trusts from you shrewd

Cried a lot with down headed

You heard all but enjoyed at your end

I broke down while accepted your shed

Never found you sad on my robbed fate

Once again you fabricated all your dreams

Undoubtedly you skilled in finding mate

Everything can be forgettable but

You are the worst enemy which I create

One over two always my style of live

You given one I returned you twice

Love or hate only you set upon

Life is life but I lost my pride

Vanished all when you thrown me in muck

Hesitant to know what’s wrong or right

Why do I follow, when you lost protocols of amity

You passed time by playing with my dignity

Your term is over that kept me in unrest

Now you are there for me as no entity

Lets fight to get peace in this calamity

I need to take revenge on all your lies

I need to take revenge on your fake cries

I need to take revenge on your being unfair

I need to take revenge on my lost pride,

And now you need to look for your survival

Lets fight to sleep calmly in the night

Tale of an old year : with resolution for the New Year!!!

Previous year has gone and become a history but this was one of the most eventual and critical at all spheres of my life. From my personal life to professional life all had taken a swift turn to put life slightly on the track. In verge of abusive relationship, I had sunk everything which I had been possessing, upon that most hazardously, I had lost my friends. I was in illusion of everything but past year had brought me into the realm of reality. In this post I am wishing to record my last year which has been changed my thinking, perspective and put me on the way of more maturity.

My professional life also suffered a lot, somewhere, now I am feeling that my efforts were not up to the mark. I have appeared in two interviews but did not get selected in any. These failures worked as eye opener for me and I had started preparing for upcoming interviews in more organized manner. Hopefully, in the new year, over the realization of disastrous last year, I may produce good results which I have been aspiring for

At social fronts, not been so social jinx continued with me in the past year too, but with more rigid manner. I am having tendency of being quite strait forward which people might not accept since I am nothing for them. This led to distraction as well as dissection and at end of the day list of enemies increased more. In this new year I shall cut shorten list of my enemies, therefore I’ll not make more enemies and would soon be patch up with all my buddies.

Only I had called destruction in my family life by keeping myself away from them. They all are innocent and seeing me as a good human being whereas I thrown them away for one or other reasons. I am their culprit, by being with them I could have been given more happiness to my family. Since, I am a family man so now considering myself more intact with all of them and wish for their happiness rather than mine.

As for my personal growth is concerned, past year had given me lots of opportunities to become or act as a matured person. I learnt a lot, viz. now I can control my anger in little better way, during irritation I can be more sensible then earlier days, I had learnt how to behave calmly in odd situations. Now, I realized that people can destroy you completely for their gains and happiness, inspite of their hypocrisies, I have to what I am. I am little more real which I had not been during last couple of years.

I have entered into the new year with a lot of positivity and doing integrative efforts to make my dreams true. In this new year, I’ll try to put everything back on track, professionally, personally, academically and socially as well. But my sincere new year resolution would be, not to make any enemy, will surely be cordial to everyone who comes across.

I wish all of you a very happy and prosperous New Year ahead!!!

Then what makes u cry...

Footsteps of others keeping strong imprints
i’m trying to walk away from the tread
there were many with me when i started
when things changed they look for rest
i am determinant to not to get back
moving ahead to make a try
feeling resistant as no one is there to hold
if i fall down in the clutches of pie


people who surrounded me for their happiness
they stayed with me to have rest on their rides
ones they recovered from outgoing breaths
they stood and moved ahead with others
as i’m there rival in the game of life
i cried, called them for togetherness
but they dint listen any of my voice
life is a mysterious net of relations
one can’t hold those meant for fly
emotions woven like nest of phoenix
feelings never going to die


life is mortal, everyone has to go
we come alone, walk alone
but emotions never go lone
souls get glued from distant corners
being together life become a desired heaven
all need to swallow glooms of heart
few are there who tear soul apart
on dooms’day, U ‘ll realize
what U gain and what U lost in the flow of life
abandon is the nature of your pry
now i’m away from U,
then what makes U cry

अम्मा आज भी रोती है...

तेरी आने की आहट आज भी उसको सताती है

तू उसे छोड़ कहाँ चला गया

आज भी उसकी आँखे बात बात पे भर आती है

तू दुनिया की भीड़ में कहीं खो गया

अम्मा तरसती रही पर तू दूर हो गया

वोह तुम्हारे टूटे खिलोने, वोह पहने हुए कपडे

आज भी उसकी दौलत है

मैं बस इतना बताना चाहू कि

अम्मा आज भी रोती है

तू भूल गया वोह दिन जब तुझे रोता देख

वोह तड़प जाती थी

तू बोल नहीं पता था पर

तुझे सीने से लगा के, रात और दिन तुझसे बतियाती थी

अँधेरे से बचने के लिए वोह तुझे काजल का टीका लगाती थी

वोह आंसू और सिसकियाँ चिला चिला के तुझे बुलाते हैं

मैं बस इतना बताना चाहू की

अम्मा आज भी रोती है

क्या कसूर उसका जो उसने तुम्हे जन्म दिया

अपने लहू का दूध बना कर तुझको सजदा किया

उसकी बेजान आँखे तेरी आने की राह तकती है

मैं बस इतना बताना चाहू की

तू अब देर न कर

अम्मा आज भी बहुत रोती है

A new day

For the last few months I was trying to consolidate my life on my desired way from a gloomy experience. Things have been coming back on the track and new thoughts are vividly shaping futuristic way of living. But a tease somewhere has been pinning around the heart, in spite of smoothing up most of things.

A couple of days back at 12 midnight (12am), a voice over the cell pierced all my thoughts and reminded me that I have already been entered in new year of my life. I was happy but somewhere expecting another call on the track which always been the first. The call dint come but I was happy and slept with the thinking to be good with everyone atleast on this very day of mine. In the morning, while getting ready for the office received another call from my near and dear ones who poured their unconditional love and care, the call from my previous office. Talking with all of them taken me into a new world and filled me with emotions. Whereas, somewhere down the corner, I was still expecting a needed call which did not come yet.

I was happy whole of the day as everything was progressed in much better way. I supposed to move out of the office but a call again stopped me to hold for sometime because they arranged a cake for the occasion. In the process I shared with one of my colleagues that today is my birth-day, he put it on notice of few others. The Cake, sent from thousands of miles away, arrived and all were there to cut it off, it was delicious and awesome. I am overwhelmed with the love and care all of you have offered to me. I would like to assure you all that this emotional bond of ours will always achieve new heights of strength. Thanks for being with me and making my day as memorable one.

 

The expected call dint turn up, which put smile on my face.

I am back again….!!!

At personal front, new flames are started lightening up. Day by day unique style of living is being experienced which offering positive energy to me, now and then. The desperation and negative thoughts started disappearing one by one. I am happy getting back to normal life. Most of the long pending tasks are also coming at the verge of finishing and some of them are in a proper flow. I am feeling happy to achieve most of the desired things of my life and finding myself ready for other targets too. All deeds who weakened bonds with my dear ones are also tightening up very strongly. I am getting back to my world which I had cut off due to some reasons. A shut back had thrown me on the earth from cloud ninth. It is paining emotionally but also sensing my heaven on the way. Cruelty and practicalities of one taught me the lesson of life. Thanks to all my friends who come strongly in favour of me and for saving me from the jaws of fatality.

Proximity of others now revealed as a crude debacle which laid on lie, fake, hypocrisy and artificiality all the way. It was a great learning experience even though it had taken three important years of life. However, illusive sight has vanished and natural vision fused up. Nothing much to say, except – I am back, I am back again….!!!

Transformation of life

As I revealed that my life has been changing rapidly. Things which were mine now it seems they never belong to me earlier. It was just my illusive thought of possession. That tenure is over and they are in the possession of others. Legally and socially, I have no right to hold them with me. So life is transforming from the ownership to companionship. Context of relationship has also been changed. My sobs do not keep any meaning during this transformation, instead it shows my weakness. I am realizing the change but do not want to accept it at all, so, knowingly pushing myself in emotional trauma, again and again.

I am not analyzing reality but wishing to be in virtual world by crossing all limits. Heart wants to stop at the weakened sentiments. But my brain is feeling happy and asking me to make best out of this dilemmatic situation which is not arises once in a whole life span. Therefore, concentrating on the outcome, adopting it by mind and getting adapted to this change of life. Yes, I need to put a positive attitude on whatever way I am going through. This seems to be a new incarnation of mine along with a sense of freedom which is getting transformed quickly.

I am alone

Life has changed to many folds in just couple of weeks’ time. I have been anticipated these changes a long back but was not expecting that these would come like this and going to shatter me. I was keeping my eyes wide shut about the fact. The person concerned about me is leaving me alone and marching ahead to win new hearts. I don’t know how to react and how to tackle this situation as my inside is deeply crying for the one who has left me aside.

I am an emotional fool

Now morning on grief all alone

We planned our future intact

Things fall flat when one broken our dreams

Mind and heart stuck to imbalance gust

She has started dreaming for her best

Left everything at ours all scotched

No one to adore, no one at the crest

None to share my love and worst

When emotions arrived at point of curtest

There is only 'me' with 'my inner tempest'

Oh God! Stop it now......

Death is the only truth in this world. Ones born must have to die? Then why we try to forget this truth and why we live in illusion being away from demise? Things are changing rapidly and new generation is driving it hard. Most of the people are self centered now whereas earlier people lived for the society. Luxuries are more and available at reasonable costs which earlier were not even in thought. New generation also lacking mental toughness and bend their boon in case of little pressure. Pressure of study, pressure of job, pressure of achieving something good and pressure of survival is putting them under more and more stress.

Farmers are sacrificing their lives because businessmen/ corporate houses are milking money on their sweat and paying them only peanuts. Many of the lives are on stack of share-market. If it booms then fine otherwise take away some lives every time whenever it falls drastically. South Asia is generally known as ‘suicidal capital’, nothing more to say about it. Couple of year back, I heard that during rainy season (South Aisa) more suicides have been done. It is because of the gloomy weather which offers passiveness.

Today writing all this is not my purpose but it is because last journey I had made to my hometown because of a suicide. A suicide committed by a juvenile of 14 years named Komal. Knowing about suicide is not new but it was committed by one of my close relative put all of us on trot to reach at hometown. I tried to recollect the face of that kid but got his appearance when he was of just 7-8 years. Now he was 5 feet 4 inches of height, thin but straight body, and fair in complexion with graceful face. He was good in study too and never felt pressure of anything.

His father is my cousin and mother is my sister by religion (Dharam Behan). They were having this son and a daughter. They have been visiting us almost everyday because my sister is a teacher in ‘Angan Balwadi School’ which is running in one of room. They narrated their desires of making house and establishing their own business to my mother most of the time and working towards that. Just couple of months back they constructed their new house and kept one room to their son and asked him to furnish it according to his wish. They were always saying him that ‘this room is to you and your wife’. They all were living as a happy family. His sudden demise is heartbreaking for everyone. Who ever heard about this run towards to home. Why he has done so, is not yet clear. His grand parents were saying they found him in depression from few days, they never thought that he was planning to go away from all of us. He hanged himself just like an expert. People were unable to open the nodes he had given to the cloth he used as tool finally they cut it with a dagger. In the moaning state parents are asking from everyone reason of his passiveness.

Suicides by the people degrading image of our village whereas list is getting longer and longer as the time moving:

• Mr. Dhania Ram found hanged in the jungle, it happened when I was kid.
• Mrs. Neema (wife of Mr. Devraj) consumed poisoned, her husband faced court case for this.
• Second wife of Mr. Devraj also hanged herself and his passion in the list of court and police become more critical.
• Mr. Devraj had also hanged himself.
• Mr. Mehar Singh consumed poison.
• Cousin of Mr. Mehar Singh also found dead in mysterious circumstances, which police marked as suicide later on.
• One girl consumed poison, reached hospital but declared dead.
• Finally this boy (Komal) hanged himself.

- Who is next now……………………………………………………………?

Hey God, give mental strength to all of your children living in this world ……. take them away but not with the way of suicide.

Samsara: a tale of sensuality and spirituality

I am not a true movie bud but always like to see light movies which tickle my funny bones. Though, I had school bunks for movies, including lower grade movies, with few of my friends. Craze of movies were higher at that time and I got easily influenced by all action or romantic flicks. But this craziness has decreased as I entered in the college or thrown up my juvenile behaviour. I like movie by interpreting it by my own emotions or thoughts.

Since, cinema is nothing to do with geographic or language boundaries but still Indian cinema is very close to my heart. Some of the movies which I love to watch again and again are:

Jeene bhie do yaaro: One of the finest comedies, I have ever seen.

Jakham: A thought provoking screenplay which is very close to reality, love, bonding and heartfelt emotions.

Samsara: Undoubtedly a wonderful cinematic experience, shows impetus of desires, can not be fixed in words.

Gardish: A movie where a son tried to fulfill his father’s dream but failed due to few reasons.

Here, I would like to write few words about Samsara, the bestest among the best lot. This film shows meaning of life. Peace never comes through spiritual enlightenment but it comes from inside of every individual.

Samsara is directorial debut of Pan Nalin, an Indian born filmmaker. He comes out with passionate affair of mind and body in the mountains of Himalaya. Monks celebrate Tashi’s arrival from rigorous meditation of more than three years in a cave. They arranged a function and called people of village located near the monastery. In the function Tashi (Shawn Ku) saw breast of a mother while she was feeding her child. Tashi, yearns towards her with lustiest desires and compound in search deep sexual desire. While having feast of this occasion he meets Pema (Christy Chung), a beautiful girl of a farmer family, and his sexual desires blown up. His mates found him having hard-on and night-fall in the sleep. He started assessing his life with ‘Budhha’, who had also experienced closeness of woman before becoming ‘Budhha’. Monks realized his dilemmatic situation and send him to meet another non – speaking old lama. The monk showed him posters of coupling of two bodies. The coupling bodies were changed to structure of bones when saw over the fire. This conveys a message of human life but that was not picked up by Tashi. Now he had decided to live a social life and left the monastery. He worked as labour in the farm of Pema’s father. Tashi and Pema got attracted and started satisfying sexual needs. When their family sensed it they both got married and started living like a family. This was not end for him, but soon Tashi got attracted towards a girl (Neelisha Bavora) who worked in his farm. He got sexually involved with her but soon felt guilt on being unfaithful to Pema. He thought to leave social life and once again left everything in search of enlightenment which he felt is easier than the social life. On the way Pema arrived and confronted him on his leaving. She posed a question about Yoshodara that she had not left her child the way Siddhartha did, is it needed to get enlightenment?

The movie has various pictorial thought provoking messages. It begins with a stone get released from sky on goat’s. Movie ends when Pema broken a box which they used to give each other while going for long journey. The meanings of all symbolic are easily imaginative and questions posed during various conversations are not answered verbally but again these figure out with understanding of humanism.

Where will this twig end up?

How will you stop a drop of water ever drying up?

What is more important- satisfying one thousand desires or conquering just one?

Samsara is truly a master piece of artistic sensuality, spirituality and wisdom.

An eye opener

I was not at all under any stress on the way but my conscious did not analyse a string of questions, would soon be going thrown to me. I reached at the institute with a file of certificates only, supporting staff reviewed it and asked for print copies of articles, I had written. I was not keeping them with me at that point of time. I was away from all seriousness but somewhere was confident to reply on whatever they are going to ask. I saw two candidates who were quite serious about the interview and that was reflecting from their actions. Why they two were only serious? Why I am not serious as they are? I, myself answered on my questions, now, I become a careless professional and must be over confident that’s why I am not so serious about the Interview. Again another question struck, why is this carelessness?

In the mean time, my turn to face the panel arrived. The environment was very cool, all panelist were having a photocopy of my form/bio-data and all of them carefully going through it.

They questioned, like:

• Why you would like to leave your present job?
• You are working in small institute, how you will facilitate the big institute (university) like us?
• How you would manage online literacy programme by using open source software?
• Name any of the open source software, being used of information literacy programme?
• How you would make a video for information literacy programme without spending any amount?
• Tell us about rendering of “suresh kumar” (Name changed), to control wrong entries in the union catalogue?
• How many Indians won the Booker prize, what are their names and books written by them?
• What is the actual birth place of Shakespeare?

I heard all the questions, answered only 20% of these confidently, tried to give explanation for 30% but was mum on almost 50% questions.

I was not feeling happy on my performance but was started evaluating myself. On realising my performance, even I had not tired to persuade them with any of my explanation. In my eyes, I found myself completely at new ignored place, which was low and far below from a professional’s realm. I started feeling happy with the decision that I would surely be preparing myself for other interviews. I wish to be like the two serious professionals who I had seen during the interview. This interview is really an eye opener for me, now, I am trying to be ready for small or any big similar occasions with complete professional attitude.

Me & My Inner Tempest

No one to adore, no one at the crest

None to share my love and worst

When emotions arrived at point of curtest

There is only 'me' with 'my inner tempest'

Smile please...

I am ‘feeling’ alone these days despite the fact that I am not at all alone, but my feeling making me alone. Lots of people are there around me. All of them are busy to make their lives successful and luxurious. They have their own bunch of people to care for and to get cared from them. Feeling happy for everyone atleast they have someone who will come to them during their ill or happy times.

With a smile I just mocked on myself for the life where finding no one who will remain with me and plan every bit of my life. Though I know, keeping this expectation from a human being is ridicules, only my Mother and God can do this for me. The sight of love from the Mother and the God, who blessed me with desired care, is giving happiness to my inner soul. I am happy with this optimistic thought that forces me to enjoy this birth of mine. I am trying to say to myself … smile please.

I’m dreaming with my open eyes

Our Home
Near a cascade, on the peak’s height
Lots of birds with chirping in soothing voice
I wish to run over the all skies
Created OUR HOME with your beautiful sight
I’m dreaming with my open eyes

Our Place
Everyday pouring drizzles on the ploughed sand
Refreshing soul with fragrance around
Valley of colourful flowers making true band
Giving heavenly sight to fly
I’m dreaming with my open eyes

Our Family
Smile on faces of my parents all the time
Who taken such a pain to put me on the line
My mates who give me true social and cultural values
Lover’s charming love with sublime tine
Slow swings on swinger down the edge
We make heaven on the earth
Being far away from inhuman cries
I’m dreaming with my open eyes

Our Life...
With full of love from so dears
Desired embrace bring our souls’ near
Unspoken words silently shared by eyes
Heart beats chanting songs of adore
Thoughts of heart always been so clear
Hi God! Immortal souls away from tears
Living the lovable life whenever arise
I’m dreaming with my open eyes

Smile for me …

Things are clumsy and intricacies all over

Though I am happy you are always there for me

I am the piled messy disaster need all prayers

Nest of mine was in fire full of steam

You are like drizzle, always set me on the beam

Your heart is flower always spread fragrance of smile for me

World was taken away and ruined me

Though I am happy you are always there for me

Ups and downs reserved us away

I was on high you kept me grounded

You accepted me with my rage

You are the one who set the stage

My misread life reshaped as readable for me

Your heart is like a bird singing happy songs for me

New rays of life awaken me from tight sleep

Everything you do for others, I thought you are doing for me

Your smile did not let me know that you are apart from me

You are not there, just an illusive presence of yours for me

But you taught me a lesson of smile

Now, I am smiling for others, smiling for all and, smiling for me

Decoding the mystery of life

He asked with a smile, why all heads don’t have brain like Einstein or Thomas Edison? I mesmerized without uttering any word and just thrown my confusion on his question. Since long, this question has been tickling my bones with one or other ways. I tried to ask this from others and also taken help of many religious and philosophical writings but never got satisfactory answer. In confusion I started peeping towards distant end of fields which were covered with green crops from the bus window. Then saw him with in hope to get answered from him but was not very sure to get it. He realized my vulnerability and said, because their (Einstein and Edison) souls were matured souls. This is not the first birth they have taken but after so many births they had reached to the level of having great minds. I showed little hesitation on accepting his words and offered a conclusion to him that the souls with first or second birth would always been the notorious ones.

He smiled and said ‘always two types of characters we believe into good and bad. Generally we can classify all souls into these two categories. The souls having initial births are always so juvenile; they get attracted towards good or bad and started doing related deeds. The souls who get attracted towards good during every birth, finally reach to the level of a saint. The same way the souls get attracted towards bad things, gradually increase the level of their bad deeds during every birth and finally reached the level of spoiled soul.’


Time permitted me to take advantage of the situation and in the process I asked few more questions from this man.

Is there any way to concert spoiled soul into good?

I asked. Why not, all religions are there to show the light of good and bad to every individual. None of the religions or sects guides people to do bad things. He started chanting verses of Guru Granth Sahib and from the Kuran and narrated the meanings which were almost the same.

Do all good souls are being addressed as God after several births?

No, they get fuse in the divine power, which is known as God. All religions indicate about the supreme power but no religion giving picture of God. All good human being get fused in that supreme power. The examples of these souls are like – Rama, Krishna, Mohammad, Guru Nanak, Budhha, Mahavira, and Jesus and got united with the God. They are also known as different incarnation of God.

What or who is God?

God is a supreme power, who is omnipotent and immortal. Who has never been seen by anyone but controlling each and every minute thing in this universe. We call it OM, AUM, OMKAR, GOD, ALLAH. None of the religion has described about the nature, character, look of God, they just agreed to HIS presence. HE is there in us, in our emotions that’s why we behave differently at every occasion by doing the same thing. For example – I will give you a chocolate if you run to touch that tree and come back within one minute. He would go and come back quickly with happy emotions. The same thing I will ask him to do as punishment, then his emotions would surely be different.

I was amazed with his knowledge about the spirituality, his behaviour and his way of presenting his words positively across all my doubts. Few nearby passengers were also got engaged in this discussion, he replied on everyones’ queries. We both were in hurry to reach at the destination but bus was almost one hour late from its actual schedule. I was furious on driver for his slow driving, he alerted the driver to take care of the schedule and then calmed down. He was going to miss a project on reaching late but he was not that much apprehensive as I was. I was surprised with his calmness over getting late. He might have read few questions in my eyes and just started with the words that this bus is also old like him and whole natural stuffs joined together to make the reason of slow speed. All has already been planned by the God, our meeting, our discussion, our journey by this bus and also our adjacent seats.

This was a memorable meeting of mine with an unknown person. I had not asked his name or his identification but finding him a saint who is quite near to God and given me the mantra of life. This has also helped me to decode the unsolved mystery of life.

our togetherness

Our previous meeting few weeks ago was long awaited and desired. As per our plan, we left our places to meet the other half of each other. I reached quite early but hours of wait seemed like a day, as heart was desiring you in front of me at very moment. But the journey has its own passage and time to complete. I was becoming impatient and in this state of mind, i expressed some anger to my love, he too was eager to meet me. And finally, we were together, and that very moment all the anger vanished away. Only the distance used to play the role of any ill will in our case.

And then we reached at our home, and remain in each others arms, loved each other. And we both were feeling the hunger, and then went to nearby market to have some eatables. All this is so lovable and enjoyed a lot. After that we came back at our place, made our bedding and then have food with the most lovable way.

Then, we talked and loved each other. My love had taken a movie for us, and we started watching, but i was caught with sleep. Forgive me my lovi.

Then we woke up in the morning, started talking, and also planned for the day, as my love had to visit our home town and me too had to reach at my place. So at last left the home and took bus and started the journey. The passage that we desired to visit with each other and were enjoying the scenery all the way and our heart desired that this journey never come to and end. Then on the way, we had our lunch. And then started for my place. At last reached there, i want to show my love, my new place of work, but he was already late. He got the bus with struggle and reached home quite late. Just after reaching at my room, i started missing my love too badly. All the thoughts of our togetherness are still alive in my eyes .

This is whole of our meeting and same moment we found our self in the wait and desire of next meeting. And just now feeling the warmth of my love.