Why I dont want to vote....

Election fever is predominantly transmitting allover, as election in India is approaching. Once again the illusive hype of politics making me paranoid from the democracy in which all parties keeping eyes on exploitation of socialism. At present, ‘religionism’ becomes the biggest threat to the society and embryonic divide of society in Poor and Rich is also creating paradoxes where poor are becoming poorer and rich are becoming more richer. It does not mean that I don’t like politics, I like it but only when it can be used as science for the social development, not for creating gaps between siblings.

Politics is good if it can be used as a science to help the society and other side, it is a most dangerous game when played with the objective of survival only. In my views, in our country politics has already been entered in our veins like blood. At local level, we have ‘Panchayati Raj’ system, where villagers form their own ‘Raj’ for the development of the local public. I have seen the nastiest scenes of dirty politics during elections in which party workers distribute money and wine to attract common people for votes. After getting the power, they have been allotting IRDP status, to the people who are economically very much sound and avail all the facilities being given by the government to the privileged group of people. The government schemes launched frequently for the poor or local people, known to few of them only. Most of the agriculture loans are have taken by the people who are already comes in high economic class. These people are getting agriculture loan at the interest of 6% or so and fixing them in other banks availing interest rate of 10% or so.

Even in educations for school educations politicians have framed different syllabus where private school can have their own syllabus. Don’t you feel this is again to dissect the public in two groups, i.e. poor and rich? The deprived people remain deprived from the feel of these facilities. At national level, we have hundreds of parties. Denudation of parties is a common phenomenon. During elections, Indian politics creates an allegoric comic sequences where no relation can be counted only survival become the final goal. Even finding a good leader from the population of more than a billion people is absolutely a daunting task. Even though, since two decades we are finding collative government after spending 1000 millions rupees during election from the money that belong to the public.

Why I don’t want to vote:

Mostly criminal nature people become more active to participate in election. The people who are really in the business of social service can adopt politics rarely, below one percent of the total leaders come in the category.

Academicians try to be away from the politics.

Most of the leaders remained indulge in the personal politics and least bother about the country in practical.

For one political seat we can find many contenders, even many of them not at all known to public.

Parties publish manifestos before the election and these manifestoes are never being evaluated after completion of their terms.

Suggestions:

An examination would be framed before allowing anybody for combating an election.

Criminal record can be taken seriously as we are considering it an offence while giving any government service to anybody.

Even elections at local level should monitor under the presence of cameras linked to national security systems.

Two party system need to be established.

Portfolio can be decided before the election. Though public may evaluate the strength of any leader with reference to that particular portfolio.

The complete bio-data of every leader should be published, so people can know about the leader whom they are voting for.

The evaluation of any government’s accomplished tasks during their regime with reference to their manifestos need to be done. A special committee should has been appointed for this.

Democracy is boon if used properly and it can be a ban if being misused by leaders of the country. Talking about politics is not my forte, but for many years I was thinking to talk on my personal views on politics in general and on Indian politics in particular. With this writing I don’t want to harm any of the individual who purely devoted themselves in politics. The way of interpretation can be different as we every individual keeps different perspective on each and everything. Mere seene mein nahi, to tere seene mein sahi ho kahi bhi aag lekin, aag jalni chahiye..........

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My Diary
05.03.2009 (Thursday)

Since we ended our night talk improper way, I woke up by her call early in the morning today. My day starts with her voice, love and lots of care. She called before getting ready for the office and also called after reaching in the office. I left my bed on her direction and reached in the office exact on time.

In office, after clearing few official issues, we talked. Today also we shared a few calls of 20 plus minutes apart from few very short talks. I was feeling little passive without any reason. Many of the time I felt her consciousness might be due to the longer talk and the people around her must have calculating her time on the cell. Even her principal also commented her about the time she holds the cell.

I don’t know what to do, hearing her voice is my weakness and everywhere some or other thing is happening which forcing us to minimize our interaction. Really I am quite upset with these developments, now can not hear her in the office as well as in her house. What to do? Should I start behaving tough with myself for controlling my desires to hear her? No no... I knew I am heartless, if once start thinking out of my heart may convert me into a stone once again. Naah, I can not imagine my life without her.

We had our evening talk too, but again it was not completely on our love but shifted on others. My brain has forced me to think over the issues which should not be there in our discussion but now started coming up. I am feeling her pain, by putting myself on her place. All these pains are given by me, a useless stone which she is carving with her love. I am thinking seriously over her pain.

Received her a very short call with full of love while coming to my house. Prepared my dinner and start working over Internet. She called up and came online after 10.40pm. Today Internet was giving some problem, once again we could not chat properly even could not talk to each other over the phone as we used to. I am desperate to see her, want to touch her. This chat and talk is not giving satisfaction anymore at this moment. My love is so lovable but being her love could not even see her. What a badluck I have and what a fate given by God where I can not even see my love.

Sensing something.....

My Diary

04.03.2009 (Wednesday)

Her call woke me up in the morning. All my days in which I got up by hearing her voice go incredibly well. Her voice brings me exceptional strength and activeness for the day. I was on bed when she again called me from her office. I got ready for the office as instructed by her and then while doing my breakfast try to talk to her to show that I am in actual having my breakfast. She was busy so ended that call quickly.

After reaching, I sent her mails and then talked to her. I was feeling so fresh as my day started with her voice.

We shared few quite a good (long) talks, even sometime she felt conscious because of the people she was surrounded might have observing her over the phone. Then we waited for our evening talk. I dint do anything during the gaps we had given between two talks. Whole day has gone with her lots of love. She was very busy with loads of work in the office but given maximum of her time for me.

During evening again she poured all her love while talking. But evening talk was interrupted once or twice due to some reasons at my as well as her end and finally the call ended without any proper way.

She called me up at 7pm and then at around 8pm. The day was going in astonishing way of loving each other. She came online at 10.30pm. But I felt we have not talked on any of the issue in this chatting, even found her speechless at few of the occasion. Suddenly, I thought not to hold her for long when she was not getting words to chat. Before ending our chat, I loved her pics. She is my life but don’t know where and why she got lost somewhere. I was angry.

We talked for around 6 minutes as I was feeling she was not comfortable on the net while chatting with me. I was in very bad mood. She loved me but disconnected the phone by getting irritated on my behaviour. I think first time she ended her talk in this manner. I lost my sleep the way this lovely day has ended. Surly this is not a good sign for us. When ego clashes everything fall apart. I place my apology on my cracked behaviour. I normally got caught by this type of tempter but she never. She is so sweet and lovable, even much better than GOD. Love u my love.

On the way to sleepless nights

My Diary

03.03.2009 (Tuesday)

Today is 3rd our memorable day, for this occasion wishing my love and praying to my almighty God for bless us with everyday of our lives like our memorable day.

Yesterday, we had a light but long talk. I was astonished with the pure love she is showering. Today, again did not get my sleep properly did not know when I got sleep in the morning. I woke up with her call, my eyes were little heavy but I felt that whole of my day would surly be going incredible because I heard voice of my love. She again called up me after reaching her office she got disconnected on the terms that she would be calling me back soon. I was not in the mood to go anywhere was just lying on the bed and was deeply involved in her thoughts. Just then again got her call, she asked me to take my breakfast and get ready for the office. Do not know why blindly I follow her words even can hide anything from her, but never got this much courage to go against her words. I reached my office after almost half an hour.

I was very happy to receive her few calls since morning, it was great after many days, I heard this much of calls from her even those were in 3 hours. We shared long long talks today. It was really a wonderful day for me, as found her so much close to me. Now again, I have started realizing strength of our love and her devotion for our love.

For office, just discussed few things with my staff about our projects, it was just a routine work only. But tried to spend most of my time in her thoughts, I like to see her everywhere around me.

Evening talk was again the same as we used to have. She poured her all love as always. Her way of talking always fascinates me. She is incredible sweet and lovable. We broken the talk as she said would be calling after 2 hours or so. She got busy in her household jobs and I also left the office to reach early at my room to get involved in her dreams and thoughts, this has been my every day routine. After reaching at the room, I started waiting her. Each and every second was started giving load of tons weight but she dint come. I was restless for not receiving even a message from her side and get into tears soon. Later she came and revealed about her limitation and situation of this delay.

She came online but again got slightly late. Don't know from where the thought came 'she wants to keep me away, so started making these delay". I felt guilty on thinking this way and throw away this unwanted thought, as I can see her divine eyes with full of spark for our love. Just then she came. We again shared a beautiful talk, I loved her pics and her too but suddenly she left on thought of present situation at her end. She has gone to sleep with the words that she will wake me up whenever she come out from her sleep. Again thoughts our 3rd memorable day came into my mind and now started waiting her as she said she may come as well as start writing these lines about my day.

From my very Personal Diary - II

My Treads - II
(From my very Personal Diary)

31st May, 1999

I was happy when heard that I have been selected for the post. I was at ninth cloud and was feeling as I have won the biggest battle of my life. I rushed to my home and informed my family about the selection. They were also happy and got little relaxed from my side now. Being an introvert person I always tried to hide my emotions even could not shown up and shared my excitement of this news with my friends. I did not know how whole day gone and evening came. I gone to my bed for sleep, I switched off the light and tried to sleep. Just then, I recalled my days when I was measuring all nearby roads for hunting a job. Everyday going pillar to post in search of job by feet made me suffered with leg pains, the shoes were spoiled and before going to any interview I used to send them to a ‘mochi’ (cobbler) for repairing. I remembered the day when unwillingly I took up a job of electrician, where once got humiliated by the owner and one manager of a client company. I remembered the time when I used to walk 10 Kms (20 Kms. to and fro) everyday to reach my work place for 7 months and traveled once in an every week in local bus. My introvert nature and unkind behaviour of owner put me in tears few times. I remembered the days when I worked in an industry where I walked away from the office during lunch times by lie to my colleagues that I am going to take my lunch outside, since skipped my lunches to purchase something for my family members. All these work places had given me a different style of observation. The faces of all the people who humiliated and dishonored me started moving infront of my eyes. I felt they all were shouting on me the way they used to. Just then, my mother called me for tea and broken my rhythm of thoughts. I found, that my eyes were burning, body was sweating and feelings were annoyed. I realized those faces who shouted on me, humiliated me but thanked them for provoking me to do something to shut their mouths. I am determinant that one day I will shut their mouth off and would make them realize that they have done blunder in their lives.

God, give me strength and sense to understand diplomatic ‘love’ and ‘hate’ emotions of others towards me, which I found most difficult feelings to understand at this point of time all around.

Past has shown the way to future
one day I’ll be there, where I desire
destructive fire in which I’m going through
melting me but burning my ashes to the crude
people who killed me, might be true
they provoked me and my aspires
one day I’ll be there, where I desire

Today after a decade, I would like to place my sincere thanks and gratitude to My Dear God who blessed me with lots of friends who I always desired which are pure and divine.

Rays in the Dark

Abruptly I waked in the dark of night

Moved around in search of life

All senses were mum but somewhere I felt a fright

Powerless, speechless followed

Found, I lost my sight

Abruptly I waked in the dark of night

Walked ahead on hoofed offered

Knowing nothing about my slaughter

Trust the treads on which I walked

Heard the sound of ill’s steps

Found, I got trapped in the plight

Abruptly I waked in the dark of night

Saw beheaded relations on the sides

Eyes started flowing tear’s tides

Got sucked with the fear to see my trite

Just then a deity soul came and embraced me tight

My soul stood by me and showed me the light

Just then, I saw rays of sunlight

Abruptly I waked in the dark of night

But this time found rays in the sight

How, I Got My Freedom

Sometime, I feel animals are much better than human beings, they are free from all worries and bindings. Even they might not be worried about their end as human does. The difference between animal and man is that a man possesses the upper hand in all praxis of mind in day today lives in creation of future for himself. In this zeal, for the sake of his future, a man destroys the present and decides most of the things by analyzing his/her past. No doubt, evaluation of past is always required but the circumstances and parameters always get changed because change is the only constant feature of this universe. Change defines all variables of lives, what we can see today was not the same yesterday and will not be the same tomorrow. Then why the sense of inhumane is here all around. We live our present on paradoxes of past to build our future.

We tied ourselves in our own hypocritical values of the social system because we inherit these from our ancestors and society enforced us to live on treads of those. For me all this valid but only if it will not harm someone emotionally. Emotion comes from deep corner of heart of every individual and we have to respect these emotions which reflect true mirror of someone's inner-side.

I am not remembering when last time, I had expressed my emotions freely to someone except when I was kid where GOD kept me from all ills. As I have grownup the society start teaching me the diplomacy to deal with my parents, relatives, teachers and whole social system differently. On the same matter, I reacted differently infront of my parents, brothers, friends and relatives. Many things of mine I shared with my parents but not with my friends, many of the things I shared with my friends but not with my parents. Though, my friends are much more closer to me and I respect every friend of mine. Now question arises, which all the time piercing me that why we are not able to express our emotions the way we want?

What we want to speak, we can’t, what we want to do we don’t, sometimes family and sometimes society do not allow us to do most of things according to our own wishes. Where lays the freedom of speech and freedom to share our emotions?

Since beginning, I wished to do many things at every step of my life but could not managed to do according to my wishes as it was taught to me that I have to achieve someone else goals. My parents wished to fulfill their dreams through me, they set goals for me instead of allowing me to set my own goals. My teacher taught me to live for the society or for the country. I was quite honest to study hard as they forced me to do. Even, studied various subjects in which I was not interested. I was living in fantasies told by my family and teachers about my future. But one by one all my fantasies started shattering away. After coming out of academic institute, the struggle of survival begins, job hunting given various lessons of life. All these efforts for converting parents’ dreams into reality even faced failures at every step, As I jumped into the social system and tried to make synchronization between all the things taught to me during my education, with the actual and practicalities of the society but in vain. The learning process of survival has been started from the beginning and indubitably miles and miles to go in this natural process of learning.

Now, I have my own parameters and rules to deal with the society. All these may be wrong for others but surely these are not going to harm them or their emotions. It does not mean that I am avoiding society but trying to express my views my own way. I got my friends with these rules only. My love is so adorable and divine. We are sharing our emotions with each other with honest emotions from core of our hearts. The love she is pouring on me is so pure, lovable and endearing. Being with her gives me pleasure of life. Her smile is the biggest reason of my happiness. Now I realized that love is the only relation where one can share everything without any odd or putting diplomatic elements in the emotions. In true sense, I got my freedom of everything by being in love with my lovely soul.