Who am I…?

One question that always put me in dilemma is who am I? I ponder on my role in my family and in society as well. Somewhere I feel, an invisible power is directing me to act the way according to its wishes. Once I had desired to be with my mother all the time, but my education and now my jobs keeping me away from her. She is my mentor and her place is much higher than the God. If I calculate I have spent first 5-6 years my life in her lap after that my desire of being with her always remained desire only. My father, the honest man on this earth lives in dignity. I wish to be like him and try to copy him many of the occasions. His sleepless nights during my mental or physical illness and his all support make me confident and proud. I want to give him happiness through out his life which he had sacrificed to fulfill my demands. I feel that I am unable to give him full support due to various reasons. My brothers, who have always been with me in my childish activities, are now busy in creating their future and lives. I wish to be with them in the same way as we were during our childhood, although, I know the passed time never comes again. My friends had always felt my sincere and supportive nature. I too cut shorted all my desires, needs and requirements to help them but now I feel myself helpless to help them out. My beloved, whom I want to give all happiness of this universe, is far away from me. Whenever I wish to see her I can not, whenever I wish to talk her I can not. Whenever she is in need of me, I can not support her the way she desires. I know love does not need any support, since it is divine way of mutual togetherness, which never works like a burden but always works like a biggest support. But it’s my fate only which has not given to her any meaning of our love to feel proud on.

I have seen the people when I was in dark they kept themselves away from me and pushed me in more darkness. When I achieve the light they reminded me the days of our togetherness. From distant places they come near to me and been with me in the light. But again when I went in the dark again they left me alone and moved ahead.

I wonder, does achieving success is the only religion in this world or survival by beheading own people is the name of successful life. I do not want to be successful but want to see people happy who are around me. I do not know my part in this life, the invisible power who enforcing me to behave according to its needs is not allowing me to act the way I wish. I am trying to decode the question who am I and for what I have been on this earth with the people so close to me? Am I alone to feel like this or all others also feeling the pressure of someone other's on their wishes? Do my mother, father, brothers, friends and my beloved one also feel pressure on something while dealing with their desires? I am alone in search of who am I ...? But I am confident and believe to achieve all my dreams.

The great William Shakespeare, five hundreds years ago tried to answer this question with the lines in Act II of ‘As You like It’.

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.